Week in a nutshell

It has been a long time since i sat down and reflected on what has been going on in my life, most importantly, on what has been going on in my mind.
Our mind functions so fast and with such  automaticity based on our interpretations and beliefs and habits. We fail to see the truth so many times.
So i want to just stop for sometime, kind of like hitting pause on life, and just reflect.

This week, has been a good one.
My focus this week was on the guy at the  gym. My new hero. Very plainly put, i have a crush on him. So he has been 'making' my days. That also gives him the power to 'break' my days. But he has not done that so far.
My thoughts have been predominantly filled with him. I am just basking in this feeling. I know for a fact nothing serious is ever going to happen here.
It has been nice, looking good for him, chaning my times for him and all. I should not get carried away.

The thing that stressed me out the most this week was making the duty list for next month. I didn't know what i wanted and i wanted to be selfish. It was a mess. But i learnt my lessons.
1. Think ahead strategically. Make decisions and execute.
2. Know what you want.

I have been very conveniently ignoring studies. I notice how i just don't study if there is no pressure. Well, study. That is all i can say to myself.

Have i been feeling any negativity? I don't think so. Not on a consistent basis anyway. May be some frustration at work or some stress at a particular time or some frustration over time being wasted with friends. Basically i have been busy this week. And if your mind has food then it is not an empty vessel. And we know that empty vessels make most noise.

So, my week in a nutshell-

Monday - post call, pre holiday, alone, can't remember what i did in the ot, bought a cooler, ate Mc Donalds, was yum, was tired.

Tuesday - ADSIB, slept, ate chinese, couldn't sleep at night, acclimitizing to summer.

Wednesday - busy day, pediatric ot, can't remember specifically, ortho case went on into the evening, i was unjustly made to stay, gym, hot shower, good food, extremely tired.

Thursday - pre call, do not remeber ot, gym, he saw me in red top, felt so happy, good food, tired.

Friday - CALL. busy with cases and timetable. Learnt the importance of PAC. Tired. Slept.

Saturday - yesterday, urethroplasty, lap chole, lpj, learnt writing notes, gym, he saw me with wet hair, happy, out with friends, did not enjoy the company, but saw some live music, good food, tired.

Sunday - TODAY. CALL. Apprehension - will there be cases.

Some interesting questions i should ponder over -

1. Do i not consider worthy of luxuries?
2. Why do i need approval or acknowledgement from a hot guy for my beauty or worthiness.