With me

Why hello there, i feel so weird right now. This is different. I am not used to so much me time. Hilarious, isn't it. Last week, i was craving for this and bitching about the incessantness, and now...
I chose this schedule for myself. I like it. But it is different. I am so used to friends and outings and pacs in the evening.
Looks like i need to spend time with friends or deal with this feeling. It is true, it is scary to sit with your own thoughts.
Worries, fears crop up.
The day began with a phone call i was proud of. I spoke so well. Knowing me, it was a difficult task. But i guess, a year and a half in Anesthesia has honed my communication skills. Long way to go to reach the Dale Carnegie way but i would like to believe i am on the way.
Then came the cases. I was asked by my senior to attend to the most high risk case with her. Man! People wanted to be where i was. But i was the chosen one. Muhahaha.
It was pretty incessant, the work. Hectic at it's best. But it ended on time. I was relieved in time. And really, that makes a lot difference. Being freed an hour late, robs you off your hour.
Going to the gym feels good everytime. I never, if not rarely, regret going to the gym. Proud of myself for overcoming the laze, the "too many boys" fear and just going out there and building muscle.
Binged a little bit. Oops. Who's being a bad girl? Well i just got carried away.
Overall, i feel a kind of neutrality, an eerie neutrality if i may say so. The future and it's uncertainty scares me. That i may fall short scares me. I want to take all the right decisions. I am afraid of wrong decisions.