Yesterday

The work rush....whoooo...woke up feeling a little less good but forced on gratitude. Work was good, good cases, good load. Not the crazy load. Then after a brief social break which i felt was unnecessary but was actually necessary, more cases. Good load. My seniors shared on the load. They were the good ones. And then sleep. Then an untimely case, pissed me off, but i held my own.
The best part off yesterday, i would say was the early canteen breakfast with friends. Good company, beautiful dawny light, hunger and hot breakfast in the biting cold.
I am often confronted with thoughts of, "man, i have this now, i won't have it later, i should not get used to this or enjoy this lest i be disappointed later." But i know, it is such a sucky mindset. You just have to enjoy the now. And not worry about the future. Make the most of now. The future will take care of itself.
I still think about Valentin. I thought and hoped to see him yesterday but that didn't happen and that did disappoint me a teeny tiny bit. But i was resilient. I mean, he hardly matters now.
I often try to find faults with Valentin, try to blame things on him. But i know, he did nothing. Precisely, he did nothing and that is wrong. But not that wrong. Nothing i wouldn't have done myself. Oh Valentin, what have you done.