Oh man, it is so late and i should sleep but i can't and i have a full on working day tomorrow.
My sleep pattern had been stay up at night and sleep the day for the past few days. Man, the past few days were fucking amazing. And plus, i have been adrenalized by an idea that popped in my mind.
Also, ever since my "breakup", i have been falling into my old patterns. Listening to korean music, thinking about my career and dreams, eating food...this is good. Well basically i was on a different mission last year. Was i conscious of the fact that i was changing? I was always just so pre -occupied. I knew i was putting everything else aside.
Today things happened. And i feel very good. Valentin and I met properly today, kind of, for the first time since our talk. To begin with, he spoke to me, kind of. That made me feel good. Not because i like it when he talks to me but because i don't want there to be awkwardness between us. It was a relief that he spoke to me. Then we spoke during dinner. From the way he spoke it seemed like he was not too thrilled about getting married. He was basically just trying to process the fact himself. He was not too excited about losing his bachelor life. He also doesn't really know the girl he is getting married to, nor the family she is from. I couldn't tell, if he was happy or what about this marriage thing.
And this told me stuff about him. He really doesn't stand up for what he wants. He really doesn't communicate.
And then another fact was revealed. The girl is stinking rich. So, that kind of explains everything...why he is getting married...so fast.
I kind of feel sorry for him. And all this makes me feel good. But it's so mean of me, to be happy in his "sadness". I think i am more happy simply because i understand the situation better.
I was blue today during quite a few moments. First one was when i came to know that all the boys went to Valentin's house. That made me feel bad stuff.
Second was when i saw my senior all dressed up. That made me feel many bad stuffs.
Third was when i was waiting for some friends to go my very good friend's engagement.
The gist. You feel bad when you don't follow through your desires. It is one things when you try your all and it fails. But if don't try at all, choose comfort over you desire, you feel bad, discontented, regrets. So follow through. And be wary of your decisions.
Not going to the wedding was my decision, a poor one i feel in retrospect. Although i had a good time here, great time even, that would have been an awesome experience.
Last check in was last night, i believe. Since then,
Beautiful, sound, awesome sleep.
Lovely brunch - chocolate cake, red wine, chakna, game of thrones...what is life!
Room jam session
Shopping
Getting ready for engagement
Engagement. Lovely time with friends.
Valentin diaries.
Room time. Adrenalized.
Winding down. Coming back to you.
Why do i feel Valentin asked his friends to hook me up with people? Valentin looking out for me? My head making things up? God, how we personalize stuff!
I am beginning to think Nina is boring, shallow, a little jealous but very sweet and nice and helpful. Also Savannah is far long behind in self development.
Peace.love.balance.
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