Waking to "Bharat humko jaan se pyaara hain" playing on loudspeakers. Feeling proud to be Indian, for a bit.
Having the luxury of curling up inside a double blanket and sleeping for two more hours.
Poori, batata rassa bhaaji, masala bhaat, sheera for lunch in tiffin.
Ra D's "I'm In Love" on repeat mode post lunch.
The sweetest thing ever happened today. It was raining. All mud and rain everywhere. And i wanted to buy some lemons. But didn't want to get out my car. So i parked next to the vegetable seller and asked him if he would give me some. The vegetable seller's son brought them to me. I said "thank you". And he replied "welcome", with the sweetest smile. So did the vegetable seller. And i was filled with warmth. Faith in humanity magnified.
Hard choices are precious oppurtunities to celebrate the human condition. It is in the space of hard choices that we have the power to create reasons for ourselves to become the distinctive people that we are.
Reflect on which alternative you can put your agency behind, which one you can be for.
One is not better than the other, both are at par. But which one would suit you best, which one would you rather become, or be for.
I had to decide whether to take management seat or repeat a year. Would i rather be a child who uses her parent's money or someone who works hard. Would i rather waste one year of my life?
It is not that one option was better than the other. Both were at par. But i became the person who would rather not waste one year of her life. And boy am i glad i made that decision (that my parent's made that decision for me.)
I had to decide whether to spend my evening at the gym or studying. Would i rather be a fit girl or a smart girl taking into consideration that i already gym thrice a week and do not study even once a week. So would i rather be a girl for taking easy options or difficult ones. I weigh the pros and cons. And both seem at par. So rephrase, would i
Work out and relax my body and muscles and look forward to a relaxed evening of food and entertainment after a day of work OR
Study for my exam next year to gain knowledge for my career and answer well to my seniors and then spend some more time exercising.
What would you put your agency behind. Who do you want to become. Will you be a drifter. Will you take a choice you are not for.
So if i am for fitness and health but i decide to eat cake for an entire week, what does that make me? What will happen?
Someone is not integral. Someone who not in control of their life. Who letting life control them. Who is not the author of their life. But letting life be the author. And what is so wrong with that? I think it will put you in conflict. It puts your mind in conflict when you are not integral. And that is an pleasant feeling. And soon you will have deal with consequences of your choice. And you will not be prepared for those consequences. Because you were never 'for' that choice. And then you will be sad. And you will know that you have made the wrong choice.
Bingo.
My favourite playlist running. Me, all alone in my room in only bare essentials. I'm doing my chores. Dancing on between. Having a "good" time. Body well rested and well fed. I'm taking good care of myself. Truly blessed.
I have been on my bed for eleven hours now. It has been cloudy and rainy for days now. It is drizzling. The weather is pleasantly chill. I am super cosy in my soft blanket and pillows. I look forward to delicious food. And a day full of entertainment and enlightenment. Truly blessed. Thank you.
